Tag: Funke Egbemode

Intimate Affairs: Assisted fatherhood, by Funke Egbemode

Emporium Reporters

If there is a marital sin any wife is adjudged guilty of even before she makes her case, it is the one where she passes off another man’s child as her husband’s. Nobody really cares why any woman should or would do it. She’s just guilty, should be sentenced and there should be no room for appeal.   As much as I plead the case of women, even I won’t take that brief. I think it is taking biological advantage of a man, a husband who trusts you.   I…

When ‘sorry’ means nothing, by Funke Egbemode

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We called them the ‘happening couple’. Flex (real name was Felix) was a 500 level medicine student, while Tunrayo was a 200 level Law student. Though the two of them were very busy ‘effico’, they spent every free moment together. They went to the bukateria together, walked hand-in-hand to the library and the cinema. They were a reference point especially when we girls wanted to ‘yab’ our NFA male classmates who were in the habit of giving excuses to their girlfriends as to why they couldn’t take them to see…

The juicy power of the other room By Funke Egbemode ([email protected])

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The other room is the most important room in the home and in any woman’s life. Every woman knows that. So, don’t mind those who are pretending to be holier than the sacred sanctuary. It’s okay to have powers in and over the other rooms, but a woman who does not know how to wield the influence derivable and derived from the other room is indeed a powerless woman. Yes, the powers of the boardroom is plenty power. But what is the power of the boardroom without the power of…

Intimate Affairs: What women want, by Funke Egbemode

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So there have been protests from certain quarters since last week’s piece, titled: “WHAT EXACTLY DO MEN WANT FROM US?.” How dare you make it look like men are difficult, insatiable, irritable and mean? How about what men want from women or at least those things you women really want instead of being sarcastic? I chuckled at that because men have been pretending that they don’t understand women since Adam willingly took the apple from Eve and voraciously devoured it. They will continue to pretend confused even if you give…

INTIMATE AFFAIRS: What exactly do men want from us? By Funke Egbemode

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Why do men think big successful girls are single because all they want is money and independence instead of marriage and commitment? Why do they think being financially independent mean you want to live alone and die lonely? Well, the women also suspect that there is a hidden agenda somewhere. Yeah, can the men swear that they are not the ones annulling our rights and mandates while promising to ‘Insha’ Allah ‘empower’ us. You can’t win against their armoury. It is so difficult to please or understand the way their…

A second wife’s reality checklist By Funke Egbemode ([email protected])

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Polygamy is not another type of marriage. Polygamy is another level in the marriage pantheon. It is a special kind of marriage that involves more than one woman loving and laying claims to one man. Of course, no wife wants to hear of or have to contend with it, because no woman really wants to share the heart or any part of her man. But polygamy is real and I bet, at least one marriage is threatened by this harsh reality even as you read this.   Do I support…

Intimate warnings for 2024, by Funke Egbemode

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You are 33 and not doing badly. You are comfortable and beautiful but your love of easy money has blurred your childhood vision of a cozy happy home with children and a husband that loves you to bits. Your once vivid dream of falling in love and marrying early to raise four children while nurturing a career has since given way to the steady ready flow of cash and ‘baby of life’ lifestyle. You are now a chartered side chick, living on the side street of some other women’s lives.…

Before your bull wanders off By Funke Egbemode([email protected])

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Husband can and do defect because defection is a two-way street. If wives can defect, so can husbands. If a woman doesn’t get too old for touching and pampering, a man is also entitled to warmth, kiss and cuddle. A bull is always a bull. His charging power may reduce but charge he must. He doesn’t even want to be told or reminded that he’s not charging hard like of old. He may not be as fast and furious as he was 30 years ago but it is still dangerous…

All Brag, No Action By Funke Egbemode

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He knows it is not true. He doesn’t even believe it himself but he’d do his damned best to convince you it is true, with words, body language and treats (if he has money). He’d try to prove that he’s the best, that with him, you cannot go wrong. He would even dress suggestively to show you some concrete evidence. It’s all about bragging about his sexual prowess and he doesn’t stint on apparatus.   A man who is boasting about how good he is in bed (or any other…

Intimate Affairs: Married not for love, by Funke Egbemode

Emporium Reporters

It is not every marriage that is founded on love, not every married person who married for love. Don’t tell me you don’t know a few people who took their vows based on what they could see rather than what they felt. They stood, all dressed up in front of their Pastor, Bishop or Reverend Father and repeated the right lines rightly after the clergy, in front of men, not because they were ecstatically, deliriously in love but because they had chosen who they chose at that particular point in…