In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. May His blessings and benedictions be upon the Messenger, his household and companions.
Dear brothers and sisters! Have you ever found yourself in a sticky situation, wondering whose fault it is and why things went wrong? The blame game is a common human tendency, but is it really worth playing? Let’s explore why it’s crucial to avoid this destructive game and how it can transform our relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being.
Before we dive in, let’s be honest — the blame game seldom leads to productive outcomes. It’s like chasing your own tail, going in circles without reaching a resolution.
Blaming others creates a ripple effect of negativity. It’s like tossing a stone into a calm pond; the waves spread and affect everyone involved.
Blame erodes trust and damages relationships. Instead of playing the blame game, try open communication and understanding. It’s like building bridges instead of burning them.
Imagine a couple, who constantly blamed each other for their relationship woes. When they finally realised the destructive nature of the blame game, they shifted their focus to constructive communication. Their relationship flourished as they worked together rather than works against each other.
The blame game keeps you stuck in a victim mentality. Taking responsibility for your actions and choices, on the other hand, fosters personal growth. It’s like stepping out of a rut onto a path of self-improvement.
Constantly blaming others can lead to a victim mindset. Rather than inquiring, “Why me?” contemplate posing the question, “What valuable lessons can I extract from this situation?” Think of it as a way to shift the narrative and empower yourself.
Blame is toxic in the workplace. It damages team dynamics and stifles creativity. Instead of pointing fingers, encourage a culture of accountability and collaboration.
A team that once engaged in the blame game decided to hold weekly “accountability meetings” where they discussed challenges and solutions without finger-pointing. Productivity soared, and morale improved.
Blame often leads to a never-ending loop of negativity. The more you blame, the worse the situation becomes. Break free from this cycle by seeking solutions instead of scapegoats.
Blame can prevent you from learning from your mistakes. When you take responsibility, you gain valuable insights and grow as an individual. It’s like turning a setback into a stepping stone.
For example, Zuhriyyah Ahmad had a habit of blaming external factors for her career stagnation. Once she stopped playing the blame game and took ownership of her development, she started advancing in her career.
Avoiding the blame game doesn’t mean taking all the blame. It’s about acknowledging your part in a situation without self-condemnation. It’s like finding a balance between accountability and self-compassion.
Blame often blinds us to the feelings and perspectives of others. Avoiding blame fosters empathy, helping you understand different viewpoints. It’s like walking in someone else’s shoes.
When faced with a challenging situation, take a moment to calm your emotions. Focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Try to understand the perspectives and feelings of others involved. Express your feelings and needs without accusing others. Consider how your actions may have contributed to the situation.
So, as you navigate life’s twists and turns, remember that the blame game is a dead-end road. Instead of pointing fingers, choose understanding, empathy, and responsibility. It’s like trading a broken compass for a clear map to resolution and growth. Whether in relationships, personal development, or the workplace, avoiding the blame game will lead you to better outcomes and a more fulfilling life. So, why play the blame game when you can play the game of growth and connection?
Respected brothers and sisters! Research has shown that we expect others to play the blame game rather than own up to their mistakes. This means that it’s often easier to blame someone else for your mistakes than take responsibility for them.
While blaming others may be easy, we should always take responsibility for our own actions. It should be quite clear why, but below are some of the negative effects the blame game causes.
Dear servants of Allah! Deep down, we know blaming others is wrong. We can’t escape that part of our brain that will remind us of what we have done. Your consciousness will catch up to you and you will end up regretting blaming someone else for your mistakes.
While getting reprimanded over a mistake doesn’t feel good, it feels worse when you don’t feel good about yourself.
Mistakes happen, and you cannot undo them. However, you can stop yourself from making another mistake in playing the blame game.
If you don’t own your mistakes, you are robbing yourself of an opportunity for growth. As humans, one of the biggest parts of our development comes from making mistakes and learning from them.
If you don’t own your mistakes, you cannot learn from them and improve yourself on a personal level.
If you blame others for your mistakes in a work environment, it is unlikely to go unnoticed. The person being blamed for your mistakes will likely pick up on what you’re doing. You could even garner a reputation for blaming others.
This can be very detrimental to your work relations as it will cause damage to important connections over time. In turn, this could be very damaging for your career.
Blaming someone else for your mistake does not make the mistake disappear. It’s not going to help anyone – not yourself, and especially not your country, your team or organisation. That is why more and more countries and organisations are striving to build a blameless culture in reporting mistakes.
When a mistake happens, we should always focus on finding a solution to the problem rather than fixating on who caused it. If you own your mistakes and try to fix them, then you can find a solution much faster.
Yes, playing the blame game can prevent personal growth and harm your career. However, it can also have negative consequences for the person you blamed for the mistake.
It can cause, or contribute to, low self-esteem, anxiety and/or depression. It can also result in insecurity and feelings of unworthiness. All of this together adds up quickly on the organisational level and starts to have a toll on the organisational culture.
Remember, failures are a part of life. However, blaming others for your mistakes is harmful to your country, your organisation, co-workers, the person or people you blamed and, most importantly, you.
Most, if not all, country or organisations do not expect you never to fail. What they expect is that when you do fail you take responsibility for it and learn from it. Period!
Fellow brothers and sisters! Stop playing the blame game. Some people just blame others for all their problems. They’re never responsible, accountable or want to take ownership of their problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. This is a dangerous way to live. Change your mindset if you want to fix your life and your country.
The ultimate blame game came from Iblis (Shaitan – the devil) towards the Creator Allah Almighty in the most famous account in the Qur’an (Surah Al-A’raf, 7:16) where Iblis says:
“Now that You have led me astray, I will certainly sit for them (in ambush) on Your straight path.“
Astaghfirullah!
How should we correct ourselves when we make mistakes?
Dear brothers and sisters! After a human-caused tragedy, we always look for whom to blame. This goes beyond identifying the perpetrator.
The blame game is nothing new. One of the hallmarks of entrenched political disputes is that responsibility for universally abhorrent acts are attributed to one’s opponent. This apparent deft divestment of guilt allows all parties to avoid trying to explain the loathsome phenomenon itself, but such evasion of liability is merely a display of dull-witted intellectual feebleness.
Respected brothers and sisters! Fear Allah and hold fast unto His religion. That is the most trustworthy handhold. It is the fear of Allah that sets the matters of one’s life and Hereafter right. Know also that Allah’s Sunnah (His rules on His creatures) in this universe never changes. Allah Almighty says:
“No change will you find in Allah’s Sunnah (way of dealing) and no turning off will you find in Allah’s Sunnah.” [Qur’an, 35:43]
It is in the Sunnah of Allah and His rules that whoever sows good will harvest good and that whoever sows evil will harvest evil. He the Most High says:
“Whoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant) shall see it. And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom shall see it.” [Qur’an, 99:7-8]
It is a rule of Allah over His creatures that whoever takes the way that leads to the success of his life of this world and its pleasure shall attain whatever Allah has destined for him of this world and whoever takes the way that leads to the success of his hereafter and the Paradise, Allah will make him reach his goal. Also, whoever takes the way that leads to the success of both this world and the Hereafter, obeys Allah and abstain from sins, he will attain the success of this both world and the Hereafter. Allah Almighty says:
“Whoever desires the quick-passing (transitory enjoyment of this world), We readily grant him what We will for whom We like. Then afterwards, We have appointed for him hellfire; he will burn therein disgraced and rejected (far away from Allah’s Mercy). And whoever desires the Hereafter and strives for it, with the necessary effort due for it, then such are the ones whose striving shall be appreciated. On each –these as well as those- We bestow from the Bounties of your Lord. And the Bounties of your Lord can never be forbidden.” [Qur’an, 17:18-20]
It is also of the rule of Allah to test His servants with the good and evil. He Almighty says:
“We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good. And to Us you will be returned.” [Qur’an, 21:35]
As for the Muslim, whenever any good affects him he knows that it is a favour from his Lord, for he knows that he deserves nothing from Allah by right and this belief will make him thank his Lord and praise Him. Also, if any evil afflicts him he perseveres and seeks the reward of his Lord, for he knows that, that is the result of a sin or mistake he has committed or that Allah wants to elevate his rank in the Hereafter. Allah the Most High says:
“And whatever of misfortune that befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much.” [Qur’an, 42:30]
The Muslim examines himself, review his deeds and repents for every sin he commits. As for the disbeliever, if any favour comes his way, he becomes insolent and arrogant and starts transgressing. And when any calamity afflicts him he despairs and becomes impatient. This world is his Paradise and his lord is his desires.
Respected brothers and sisters! We Nigerians, these days, are afflicted with many calamities. Many causes have however been given for these tribulations. Some say that they are a result of the evil plan of the enemies, some say they are the result of our economic recession and some say they are the result of the country’s industrial and technological backwardness, some say even that it’s the result of the bad leadership in the country etc. All this are just symptoms of the ailment. The real cause of this sorry situation is the lack of fear of Allah among the citizens individually and collectively. Allah the Most High says:
“(What is the matter with you?) When a single disaster smites you, although you smote (your enemies) with one twice as great, you say, ‘From where does this come to us?’ Say (to them): It is from yourselves (because of your evil deeds).’ And Allah has power over all things.” [Qur’an, 3:165]
He the Almighty also says:
“Allah will not change the condition of a people as long as they do not change their state themselves.” [Qur’an, 13:11]
And Muslims in their history have passed through some periods which were more severe than the present one in afflictions and in which their enemies subjected them to persecutions. But then they made a sincere return to their religion with knowledge and Faith (Iman). They therefore, attained security and regained their honour, unity and wellbeing under the shade of Islamic law. This injury was healed and their condition became better. In this age, the calamity is actually great for the Muslim Ummah, but it remains and indisputable fact that the affairs of the latter generation of the Muslim nation will never be set aright except by that which set right the affairs of their predecessors. So, blaming the enemies of Islam for these calamities does not in any way absolve the Muslims from being responsible for their own woes, for how will the Muslims expect the unbelievers to solve their problems for them if they themselves fail to do so through the Book of Allah, the Sunnah of his Prophet (Peace be upon him) and in the light of their interests and those of their coming generations?
The solution to Muslim’s problems therefore lies with Allah and then with their leaders and scholars by letting the people know all that is good, encouraging them to do that and warning them against all that is evil as far as matters of their religion and life is concerned. This is a great responsibility that requires strong will and sincerity.
Dear servants of Allah! Whenever a calamity afflicts a community, the first step to take is to have a sincere repentance. Allah Almighty says:
“And all of you beg Allah to forgive you, O believers, that you may be successful.” [Qur’an, 24:31]
Every Muslim needs to have a sincere repentance. If anyone however says, ‘What is the relevance of my personal repentance to the rectification of the Muslim’s condition?’ He should be told that the cause of all good in this world and the Hereafter is the fear of Allah and obedience to Him and the cause of all evil retribution is to disobey Him. He should also be told that, the repentance of every individual brings greater good and reduces calamities on the Muslims.
Muslims should also unite in the face of this changing world that aspires to change the creed of Islam and eliminate its values and laws.
Further, past nations were destroyed because of the existence of many sinners and fewness of righteous people. The sin of a single individual may destroy a whole nation. For example, Allah the Most High caused the people of Thamud to perish because one of them killed the camel. He caused epidemics to spread among the children of Israel –even in the presence of Prophets Musa and Harun (Peace be upon them) because some of them committed adultery. Allah the Most High says about some of the destroyed nations:
“So We punished each (of them) for his sins; of them were those on whom We sent a violent wind with shower of stones, of them there were those who were overtaken by awful cry, of them were those whom We caused the earth to swallow and of them were those whom We drowned. It was not Allah who wronged them, but they wronged themselves.” [Qur’an, 29:40]
Zainab Bint Jahsh narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be uponhim) said:
“Woe unto the Arabs because of an impending calamity. Today the debris of the Yajuj and Majuj (Gog and Magog) has been opened to this extent. And he demonstrated that extent by making a circle with his index finger and the thumb.’ Zainab said: ‘I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Are we going to be destroyed while there are righteous people among us? The Messenger of Allah said, ‘Yes, when immorality and alcoholic drinking have become widespread.”
Do not therefore treat the matter of repentance lightly for it is the way out of all hardships In Shaa Allah. Hold fast unto the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger for they are the light and guidance that save from darkness and error.
Beloved servants of Allah! The religion of Islam commands the Muslims to be united and forbade them from disunity. Allah the Most High says:
“And hold fast unto the Rope of Allah (the Qur’an) and do not be divided among yourselves.” [Qur’an, 3:103]
He the Almighty also says:
“And do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength departs, and be patient.” [Qur’an, 8:46]
The religion of Islam while enjoining unity among Muslims, does not however mean that the non-Muslims can be attacked or denied their rights which they enjoy under the Islamic law. If many non-Muslims understand the justice of Islam and its beauties, they would embrace Islam and would not have blamed it for wrongful acts of some useless Muslims among us. Allah the Almighty says:
“Say (O Muhammad to the people): ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him, be good and dutiful to your parents, kill not your children because of poverty –We provide sustenance for you and for them, come not near the shameful sins, whether committed openly or secretly and kill not any one whom Allah has forbidden except for a just cause (according to Islamic Law). This He has commanded you that you may understand.” [Qur’an, 6:151]
Respected brothers and sisters! Fear Allah as He should be feared, seek nearness to Him through righteous deeds and abstain from sins. Send forward good deeds before you meet Him and make good use of your life. Try as much as possible to rectify and correct your mistakes. Allah the Most High says:
“O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. Let every soul look for what he has sent forth for the morrow and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do.” [Qur’an, 59:18]
Provide for yourselves answers that will save you from the hardship of the Day of Resurrection. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said:
“The foot of man will not slip on the Day of Resurrection until he is asked of his life as to how he has lived it, of his youth as to how he has used it, of his wealth as to how he got it and in what he spent it and about his knowledge as to what he did with it.”
Great servants of Allah! How do you lose the Prayer (by neglecting it and praying out of its time) while it is the connection between you and your Lord? If you don’t have this connection between you and your Lord, then where is the Ubudiyyah (servitude), and the love for Allah and the submission to him?
I think we are least cared about our connection with our Lord. Hence we are least bothered of repenting. Ourself has grown bigger and taken precedance and priority over our religious obligation. Verily a nation is not destroyed just like that. It has to cultivate, embibe, culture, establish, create, practise, give birth to some qualities which warrants their doom.
And our repentance will be fake unless we correct our supplications (Du’as) and our supplication cannot be beyond mere lip service, mere hypocrisy, mere pretence lest we establish our sincere connection with the Allah Almighty.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds. May the peace, blessings and salutations of Allah be upon our noble Messenger, Muhammad (Peace be upon him), and upon his family, his Companions and his true followers.
Murtadha Muhammad Gusau is the Chief Imam of: Nagazi-Uvete Jumu’ah Mosque; and Late Alhaji Abdur-Rahman Okene Mosque, Okene, Kogi State, Nigeria. He can be reached via: [email protected]; or +2348038289761.
This Friday sermon (Jumu’ah Khutbah) was prepared for delivery today Friday, 25 Safar, 1446 AH (August 30, 2024).
