Why shouldn’t we all not cry when we have failed as husbands? How do we translate “qawwaamuna” into action? Do we really live up to expectation in terms of the home-keep? Are we always willingly desirous to spend on our wives and children? Do we consider our failure or negligence to fulfill any financial obligation as a deficiency or even sinful from our end?
Are we satisfied with our sense of responsibility over our wives? Are we ready to stand before Allah (SWT) on the Judgement day and defend this?
Do we live with our wives as did our model, Prophet Muhammad (SAW)? How do our wives rate us in terms of human relation and communication? Do they see us as friends, brothers or partners in progress, or as masters, bosses or autocrats?
It is high time we wept for what we make our wives go through as stress or strains, etc. Why make them regret getting married to us? Why make them feel lonely while even with us in bed? Why make them grow older than their age? Why make them poor when they actually came to you with riches and/or potentials?
Why push them out of the home to become beggars? Why force them into exile while still in our house? Our wives these days go through hard times. The unluckiest ones who marry irresponsible husbands are really pitiable. They have become like ghosts in their physique. Their thoughts are almost becoming uncoordinated.
In pain they sleep, with endurance they enjoy sexual relation, with stress, they rest; and with hunger, they raise their children.
Religion is indeed a sincere admonition. Let husbands who have listening ears listen. You have control over your wives, but Allah (SWT) has control over both of you. He is taking account of the way you treat her. If you cannot fear Allah (SWT) in your wives, then Allah (SWT) will fear nothing to deal with you appropriately in this world and the next. You must review your disposition towards your wife and amend accordingly.
Repent for your excesses and let your wife heave a sigh of relief and tranquility. She may be helpless but Allah (SWT) is not. Treat her like your beloved sister and enjoy the great bounty of your Lord.
The trying time of our wives appears abysmal because of what we have caused ourselves. We have majorly driven them into the labour market. They are now fully there and even thriving more than us. This is not without cost implications. The children bear the direct brunt. She too has been rebranded by the new life she lives. She has delegated her primary duties to others. Her time is now scarce, her thinking is now money, her children are now toys, her husband has become animated machine, etc!
Husbands must accept responsibility for the fate of their beloved wives today. Let us begin to retrace our steps. Let us improve and increase the source of our income. It is better we cry here than return to cry in the Hereafter. If we, as husbands, increase our intimacy with Allah (SWT), improve our communication with our wives and children and seek better means of sustenance, recite suurah Waaqi‘ah every night, Allah (SWT) will surely take care of all our needs.
On his sick-bed, ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas‘uud told Uthman Ibn Affaan that he should not fear poverty for his daughters as he has taught them suurah Waaqi‘ah because he heard the Prophet (SAW) saying that:
“Whoever recites suurah waaqi‘ah every night will never suffer want.”(Abdrahmaan Rafat Albasha, Suwarun min Hayaatis-Sahaabah, Vol.1, p. 105)
Circulated by Salahudeen Ustaz Yunus a Marriage Consultant based in Abuja
