Dr. Afolabi Olajuwon
In a spiritually invigorating Sunday service held on November 24, 2024, the Foursquare Gospel Church, Wuse District Headquarters in Abuja, hosted a transformative gathering themed “Looking Inwards In Marriage.”
The event brought couples and individuals together to contemplate the intricate dynamics of marital relationships, fostering a deeper connection with God and one another.
A United Congregational Event
The service commenced with a soul-stirring performance by the church choir, setting the stage for a heartfelt exploration of marital unity and personal introspection.
In a unique exercise, couples were categorized based on the length of their marriage into groups of 21 years and above, 11 to 20 years, and 0 to 10 years, while teenagers, youth, and singles participated in separate discussions. Each group convened in designated areas of the church to engage in dialogues tailored to their experiences and challenges.
Insights from Marriages Spanning Over 21 Years
The Post 21 Years Marriage Group was coordinated by Elder Austin Asagbra and delved into the profound topics of intimacy and affection within marriage.
Participants expounded on several core elements and hurdles concerning marital bonds, providing collective wisdom and practical guidance for sustaining a loving relationship.
Understanding Intimacy and Affection
The group defined intimacy not simply in physical terms, but as a deep-seated connection encompassing intellectual, emotional, and spiritual dimensions.
This holistic approach underscores the oneness in love and faith that transcends mere familiarity, emphasizing that intimacy envelops every aspect of a couple’s shared life and is essential for a robust marital foundation.
Challenges to Intimacy and Suggestions for Restoration
Throughout the discussions, participants identified key factors that often hinder intimacy and affection, including:
Trust and understanding deficits
Openness barriers
Career and distance-induced strains
Communication breakdowns
Financial stressors
Unresolved conflicts arising from pride
Emotional withdrawal
To address these, the group emphasized the importance of identifying root issues and discouraging detrimental comparisons between marriages.
Essential strategies included fostering open communication, nurturing mutual understanding, engaging in prayer, and handling conflicts with care and humility. Regular physical intimacy was also cited as integral in maintaining closeness.
The Role of Effective Communication
Central to the revival and enhancement of intimacy is the art of effective communication. Key practices advocated by the group include:
Attentive, immediate listening
Engaging in complete and understanding-based dialogue
Sustaining ongoing conversations that accommodate individual personalities and preferences
Such communication strengthens forgiveness, fortifies emotional and physical bonds, and serves as the cornerstone of enhancing sexual intimacy.
Navigating Lifecycle Changes
Discussions also navigated the complexities introduced by menopause andropause, recognizing these stages as pivotal periods that require patience and adaptive strategies to maintain intimacy and affection.
Conclusion: The Journey of Nurturing Love
The forum concluded with a resounding consensus that the journey of cultivating intimacy and affection is a dynamic process, seeking continuous attention and care.
Through shared experiences and supportive church community initiatives, couples are encouraged to nurture a deeply loving and enduring partnership that withstands the test of time.
This enriching event exemplified the church’s commitment to strengthening the foundations of Christian marriage, providing couples with the tools and insights needed to look inwards and fortify the relationships that define their lives.
*Dr. Afolabi Olajuwon is a Fellow of the Nigerian Institute of Public Relations, Fellow of the Institute of Management Consultants, Fellow of the Chronicle Business School, Abuja, a Researcher and resource person at the International Institute of Journalism, Abuja.
