I am both pleased and worried about the impact of social media on our lives. No doubt social media is being used in positive ways that shape our politics, business, culture, religion, career, education, innovation and much aspects of human endeavours than one can imagine.
Before the advent of mobile telephone and therefore social in Nigeria, level of contact was limited. A guy attend the same school with a lady and after graduation they never see again. This is no longer the case. Now we have WatsApp Groups of people with common interests in business, agriculture, politics, industry, family and Old School mates.
Good as this is, I have noticed a trend of old friends renewing forgotten relationships even after marriage to different spouses. I have also noted friendships easily made in many places that I am constrained to visit my class work in the university at which I was taught ISLAMIC PERSONAL LAW by Mallam Ma’aji Isa Shani my ISLAMIC PERSONAL LAW lecturer at UniMaid.
About 36 years ago Alhaji Shani taught me a topic regarding ‘impediments to a valid marriage in Islam’ in which he said, according to Qur’an Chapter 4:23, Allah says (see the Arabic version) which means –
“Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives’ mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in. But if you have not gone in unto them, there is no sin upon you.
And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.”
This clearly indicates that marrying the mother of your spouse, her daughter, sister, brother’s daughter, father’s sister and mother’s sister and their descendants are prohibited in Islam.
Mallam Ma’aji Shani had also taught me that based on Islamic customary law, certain marriages are prohibited to certain women but not to certain men. So a Muslim woman can not marry a non Muslim but a Muslim man can marry a non Muslim woman. This is allowed.
What is also allowed in Islam is that marriage between cousins is permissible.
As you can see by the provision of Qur’an chapter 4:23, the women mentioned therein are permanently prohibited for a man to marry them because of the degrees of consanguinity, affinity and fosterage.
Fosterage means if a man suckles a woman ie matar da ka sha nononta lokacin da kake jinjiri ba zaka aureta ba, ba zaka auri abin da ta haifa ba. Dan ta kuma ba zai auri ‘yar ka ba. kuma dan ka ba zai auri ‘yar ta ba.
Matar da kuka yi Li’ani tsakanin ku ma, babu sabon aure tsakanin ku har abada. Li’an is also a permanent legal bar to marriage. Li’an means “Mutual cursing.” ‘Li’an’ is a form of divorce which takes place under the following circumstances. “If a man accuses his wife of adultery, and does not prove it by four witnesses, he must swear before ‘God that he is the teller of truth four times and then add: If I am a liar, may God curse me.’ The wife then says four times, ‘I swear before God that my husband lies’; and then adds: ‘May God’s anger be upon me if this man be a teller of truths’ After this a divorce takes place ipso facto.” (see Suratu- ‘n-Nur, xxiv. 6. Mishkat, book xiii. ch. xv.)
In case of this kind of divorce, the man can not remarry the wife again. So it is a permanent bar to marriage.
INSTIGATING DIVORCE BY MEANS OF TELEPHONE
The one that worries me most is another permanent bar to marriage in Islam which many people do not know. This is INSTIGATING DIVORCE.
You meet a woman in an Aircraft or a Buss or in the market. Or you know a girl in college or you know her at your working place. She consistently tells you that she is not happy in her marriage.
Then, as colleagues or friends you exchange telephone numbers and you keep chatting yourselves up. Then you instigate her to leave her husband so that you guys can marry. If you INSTIGATE a woman to seek and obtain a divorce from her husband in order for you guys to marry, that act of instigation is a PERMANENT BAR TO MARRIAGE BETWEEN YOU. In ko kun yi auren, abadan zina kuke yi a cikin gida
Finally, I still advise that couples should refrain from prying into each other’s telephones. Ban da bincike.
