Marriage can be a beautiful partnership where two people support each other in life’s up and downs. It is built on effective communication,trust and shared values. But it’s also not for everyone, and people can find happiness in all kinds of relationships whether married or not.
In marriage sex can be an important way for partners to connect emotionally and physically, deepening their bond and intimacy. However good,the role of sex in a marital life varies from couples to couples. It often depends on communication, mutual respect, and understanding eachothers needs and boundaries.
For some spouse it is key part of their relationship, while for others, emotional connection, companionship and other forms of affection take precedence. How a couple approaches sex in their marriage is a personal and shouldbe based on mutual consent and open communication.
Some people fail in their marriage not because of any lack of effort, analysis or care, sometimes people fail because they are locked in in the wrong paradigm.
If you are not seeing your marriage or spouse in the proper light then you won’t succeed. And no amount of effort will change that. The only thing that will get you good results is a different perspective. Once you get the right perspective fixing your marriage will be as easy as putting a cap on your head.
In marriage institution we are for eachother. If not partner in marriage are happy they will be eager to consider each other feelings. The man realised that his wife needs to sleep and because of his love for her he will not disturb her. On the other hand it may have occurred to the woman that giving her body to the man is more important than taking a short nap. When a husband or wife have natural warmth and concern for each other a strong relationship flows smoothly in their union.
But in most marriage, when the spouse is turned down the seeds of bitterness are planted to the point where the wife asks the husband for assistance he bluntly says “no I can’t”
“You are just scrolling on your phone”
“Am busy for God’s sake”
“But you don’t look busy”
“I don’t care what I look like am busy and it’s none of your business and any ways do you even care”
THE QUESTION IS
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE
It is called a delayed reaction, admitting, while it’s a shameful explosion, it happens all the time.
When the husband’s hope are often dashed on intercourse, anger, hostility and resentment will eventually fill that house. Marriage lifes trives when there is plenty of love and affection between two partners. It is important to talk about your expectations with your spouse before marriage. That is the only way to find out as a couple which needs are unrealistic and which are legitimate. Hopes that are legitimate shouldn’t be tossed away,if they gets sour, then they will affect every aspect of your relationship.
Sex therapists have said it wives do not be deceived by a sexually fulfilled husbands will feel good about his self all the time so much that a man’s personality is tied to how his wife response to him sexually. Psychologist believe that a healthy man wants to be his wife’s hero. Wives should know this. While he is delighted that you are having a good orgasm he is watching you thinking, “I did that to her thank you”.
Your husband may not be the best man at his work, may not have mansion,or the most expensive car and his hair may be falling out while his tummy getting bigger, but his honey loves him enough to occasionally get lost in the heat of passion,he will still feel like the king of the world. Why? This is because he is able to please his woman.
It takes two to tangle as a husband you can also make your wife happy and both of you can have a beautiful marriage with sex all of the time.
Men out there should always remember that to most wife out there sex better when offered. The best sexual satisfaction comes from satisfying someone not being satisfied.
We’re as sexual beings with sexual desires learn to find your satisfaction in your wife’s orgasm and you will change your love life. Instead of demanding sex offer it to her. You have to be enticing to your wife. Find out what gets her singing and purse that.
Sex is incredible intimate and beautifully designed by our creator to connect spouses at the most intimate level.
*Babalola Alao,a Marriage/Relationship Counselor writes from Lagos
