The rising desperation among single Muslim sisters searching for a husband today is truly alarming. Every day, platforms are flooded with women longing for a righteous man to call their own. Some even paying matchmakers, joining dating sites, or engaging in public displays that compromise their values, all in the name of finding a spouse.
We have mocked and discarded the noble, simple matchmaking system of our fathers, where families would connect righteous men and women through trust, referrals, and character.
Today, we have rebranded that same practice, modernizing it with apps and agencies, yet calling the former “local” and “uncivilized.” But in truth, we have only gone full circle.
Worse still, many Muslim sisters are now being asked to take off their hijabs, turn around on video, or expose their modesty, just to be considered for marriage. It’s painful, humiliating, and it is not from the path of Islam.
As a marriage counsellor, I have said it repeatedly that the responsible men are mostly taken. Many of the men left are either confused, unserious, or seeking a woman who can share or shoulder the bulk of life’s responsibilities.
Meanwhile, our single sisters, widows, and divorcees are still searching. Often targeting married men who appear responsible, further reducing the chances for other single ladies.
This is where we need to go back to the guidance of Allah (SWT).
Polygyny is not a cultural practice, it is a divine allowance. It is a solution that comes from the One who created us and knows our needs. Allah did not just permit it. He patterned the family system around it, with wisdom and balance.
“Then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one”
Surah An-Nisa (4:3)
The emphasis here is not on restriction but on justice. Polygyny, when practiced with fairness and sincerity, can solve many of the societal problems we face today, from the rising number of unmarried women, to the neglect of widows and divorced sisters.
We must stop seeing polygyny as a threat or taboo.
It is not oppression; it is protection.
It is not injustice; it is inclusion.
When done rightly, it preserves dignity, reduces zina, and strengthens the ummah.
Until we return to the divine system ordained by Allah, we will continue to see chaos in our homes, heartbreak among sisters, and confusion in our society.
Allah already knows. He always has.
It is time we trust His wisdom.
I wish you all a very happy home and happy marriage.
